THE LOGICAL ENDING TO...
DIRTY DANCING!
We are near the end at the scene where Baby and her family are sitting at the Kellerman closing banquet. She is sitting there either pouting like a little dog...or cringing while listening to the most grotesque attempt at singing as the committee is singing about "joining hands and hearts and voices" (you all remember that song - it was TERRIBLE!) But wait! At the back door, enter Johnny (with obligatory bad ass leather jacket). He greets his friends at the entrance and then does a creepy Terminator scan for Baby. Seriously, watch that scene again, it looks like a scene right out of The Terminator...the leather jacket doesn't help either.
Johnny then approaches the Houseman table. Baby, who I think may have wet herself (or worse) seeing him, smiles widely. What follows is the line that EVERYONE remembers to this day!
Johnny: "Nobody puts Baby in the corner!"
Then beckons her like a dog to follow him. The father (the late great Jerry Orbach) stands up to protest, but apparently his wife's powerful grip is enough to subdue an angry father.
A beeline is made to the stage. Johnny and Baby walk up the stage (thankfully shutting up that sad excuse for a chorus line), and he makes his big speech:
Johnny: "Sorry for the disruption folks. But I always do the last dance of the season." (I think he is going to cry...unfortunately he doesn't) "But this year somebody told me not to. So I'm going to do my kind of dancing with a great partner. Who's not only a great dancer, but somebody's who's taught me that there are people willing to stand up for other people, no matter what it costs them. Somebody who's taught me about the kind of person I want to be. Miss Francis Houseman."
Now this would normally be the part where Mr. Houseman goes to get up again, and Mrs. Houseman stops him with the line "Sit down Jake." and every girl in the universe lets out a little scream.
BUT, since I am the one re-writing here, this is where I cut in:
Mr. Housman gets up, and yells out: "She is only 16!! I know what you've been doing with her! I call statutory rape!"
The crowd's murmur gets louder. Just then one of the guests stand up and flashes a NY Catskills County Sheriff's Badge. "Is this true, Ms. Houseman?"
Baby (in tears) shamefully nods her head. The sheriff walks up the stage and places handcuffs on the great Johnny Castle. A protest begins with some of his fellow dancers. Security is able to subdue them while Johnny is taken away to the sheriff's car that was parked outside.
Baby looks over to her father. "I hate you! I never want to talk to you again!" She storms off the stage and goes outside. Her sister Lisa takes off after her. She finally catches up to Baby.
Lisa: "Listen Baby, I know you loved him. But this was just a summer fling."
Baby: "But I'll never forget him. There will never be another man like him."
Lisa: "And I hope not. Seriously, all he wanted to do was dance! What about watching a movie or going to dinner? You need to let him go. I mean seriously - did you even know his middle name?"
Baby buries her face in her sisters outstretched arms.
The screen fades to black. Text appears on the screen and reads as follows:
"John Edward Castle was indicted on 1 count of sex with a minor on Septemer 3, 1963. Upon further checking, he was charged with 7 more counts of sex with a minor, as it was found that every year prior he intentionally victimized one family by seducing their youngest daughter. In his second year, the girl was only 12 years old! He has been placed in a federal facility for an undisclosed sentence. Police continue to investigate more allegations as they arrive."
NOW THAT'S AN ENDING!
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RIP Patrick Swayze. While I never liked you as an actor, I am not trying to defame you on a personal level.
This is not to be confused with a movie review. It's sort of like, if my life was a book, this is one of the chapters. after reading this, you will all understand as to why T2 will forever live in my mind as the greatest movie of all time!
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TERMINATOR 2: JUDGMENT DAY
While this show was not my first fond memorable movie, it has still lasted the test of time as STILL being my favourite movie...OF ALL TIME!
It was 1991. I had just finished grade 5. I was watching TV one day and I seen this movie commercial (because at that age I had never heard the term trailer before, so I just called them commercials). Anyways, this commercial comes on for a movie called Terminator 2: Judgment Day. Now, I've heard of The Terminator. Everyone did. But that movie came out in 1984. I WOULD'VE BEEN 5!! Needless to say I didn't watch it when it came out. I grew up in a household that didn't really allow much swearing on TV (heck, we weren't even allowed to watch The Simpsons), so when T2 hit, I STILL had not seen the first one. But at least I knew that Arnold was the baddie. I remember the commercial distinctly as the final tagline was "...this time there are 2." Two Terminators after the boy, HE'S SCREWED! AWESOME! Now, topped off with badass explosions and CGI, this commercial practically made me weep with excitement. I HAD TO SEE IT!! A few nights later, while watching the Arsenio Hall Show (yup, I watched it), Arnold Schwarzenegger was the guest. They talked about T2 and repeatedly flashed across the screen "THE BIGGEST MOVIE OF THE SUMMER!". They even showed a good 2 minute clip of the beginning bar scene.
OK, so I couldn't contain it much longer! One way or another I WAS THERE! So, later that summer my sister, her friend Diane (yup, if you are reading this, I mean you), my friend, and I finally made the decision to go. So off to Place Riel Theatre at the University of Saskatchewan campus we went!!
A glorious 2 hours and spare change went by. All we did was talk about it after. I even had bought a collectible magazine with pictures and behind the scenes stuff, etc. Guns N' Roses aided the situation by putting out a track that would forever be known as that song from T2 ("You Could Be Mine"). I had already liked Guns N' Roses, having heard Appetite For Destruction back in the late 80's. But when I found out they had not one but TWO albums coming out, a sort of double shot of awesomeness if you will, I was elated! And, thanks again to my ever incredible sister, Christmas came and guess what was under the tree. Guns N' Roses: Use Your Illusions I & II!! Meanwhile, in that gap between late August (when we seen the flick) and Christmas, my friend and I NEVER STOPPED TALKING ABOUT THIS MOVIE. The phrase "Hasta la vista, baby" was forever used in our daily conversations. And the recently released music video for GNR's "You Could Be Mine" was recorded on our awesome VCR, and watched to death!
Finally 1992 hit. Grunge music was taking over the radio. The Kurt Cobain era was half way done while the Pearl Jam and Soundgarden era were just getting started. Guns N' Roses and Metallica represented all that was rock that year. Garth Brooks, Alan Jackson, and Trisha Yearwood were the biggest names in country music (and for the most part I still didn't care).
I was finishing my rough stint in grade 6 (I hated A LOT of people in elementary, and I never got along well with my grade 6 teacher). But still, Terminator 2 was all I could talk about. In fact, Superchannel was finally getting it! Luckily I had the channel, too! One day, I finally got my handy-dandy blank VHS tape, popped it in and pushed record. IT WAS MINE!
Around this time, my brother (who was only 2 at the time) and I were at home alone (I babysat him A LOT), and I figured: brother, it's time to introduce you to an AWESOME movie. Into the VCR went T2. So, after watching it and the GNR "You Could Be Mine" video that day (and many, many times other days), I was now the proud big brother of a little boy who had committed an R-rated show to memory. I know, awesome, right? In fact, anytime the movie, the video, or even a shot of Arnold himself came on the TV, Johnathan (in the cutest 2 year old voice piossible) would always be excited and just kept saying "Mine" (his referencing to the song). I was so happy with myself. Though, in retrospect, I wonder if his attitude now was caused by watching a swear-laden show at the age of 2? Hmmmmm......
Either way, eventually the taped VHS was replaced by the actual VHS. The VHS by the DVD (only after I found out there were additional scenes in the DVD), and, as of last year, the DVD by the Blu Ray (yup, with EVEN MORE additional scenes!).
So, in conclusion, not only did Terminator 2 play a pivotal part of my childhood...it also may have destroyed my brothers!
Wait...
THE LOGICAL ENDING TO...
TOY STORY 2
Andy gets home from Cowboy Camp with a bunch of new toys (Jesse, BullsEye etc.) sitting on his bed with an Etch-A-Sketch note saying Welcome Home. He yells thanks, and credits roll.
Credits stop after only a few seconds. Camera cuts to the next meal. Andy says to his mom: "Hey mom, thanks for the new toys."
Andy's Mom: "What new toys?"
Andy: "You know, the cowgirl and horse on my bed."
Andy's Mom: "Ummmm, honey are you feeling OK?"
Andy: "Hold on, I'll get them!"
(Andy exits briefly, and returns with toys)
Andy: "See."
Andy's Mom "Where did you get those?"
Andy: "From you...right?"
Andy's Mom: "Ummmm, I didn't buy you these."
Andy: "But they were sitting on my bed with my other toys."
Andy's Mom gets up and dials 911.
Andy's Mom (to 911 operator): "I think someone has broken into our house!!"
911 Operator: "Have you noticed anything missing, ma'am?"
Andy's Mom: "No, but some new toys were found on my son's bed."
911 Operator: "Ma'am, you know it's a felony to fraudulently call 911 without an emergency."
Andy's Mom: "I'm not kidding! I didn't put those toys there."
911 Operator: *click*
Andy's Mom: "Hello? HELLO? Andy we need to move, NOW! Leave your toys here and get in the van!"
Andy: "BUT MOM!"
Andy's Mom: "No buts, your toys are haunted. Let's go!"
The scene continues with a large fuss and the eventual moving of Andy's family, leaving the toys behind.
Woody, who thinks there has been mistake, does another motivational speech and through impossible detective work, finds Andy's new address and get's the toys secretly into Andy's new house and specifically his bedroom. HOWEVER, not realizing Andy is not home, Andy's mom (walking by) notices the toys there. Certain now, they are possessed, she let's out a blood-curdling scream and takes all the toys and throws them in the fireplace. She douses them with lighter fluid and ignites every last one of them. Realizing it's the end they all start crying out to Andy's Mom who, freaked out even more, adds more fluid until all that's left is melted plastic goo.
Cue Randy Newman's "You've Got A Friend In Me." And closing credits resume and conclude.
NOW THAT'S A MOVIE!!
You asked for it - you got it! The Avatar review that can only be done by ME! So, sit back, grab a coffee or an Energy Drink (you'll need it), and enjoy!
!!!!!!!AS PER USUAL - THIS IS FILLED WITH MAJOR SPOILERS!!!!!!
Ahhhh...the illustrious Avatar.
Now you may be asking:
What is Avatar? What's all the hype about? Is it any good?
The only answer that could follow up these questions is...
HAVE YOU BEEN LIVING UNDER A ROCK?! But, hey, that's OK. Not everybody has seen everything. I can respect that.
So, it with the clueless in mind that I present:
CORY'S AVATAR REVIEW
So, like any good sci-fi, we are in the future. 2154 to be specific. The RDA corporation has set up a base on a distant moon named Pandora. They have chosen this lush organic place for research of its plants, its people, and - oh yes - UNOBTANIUM! Now, as hard as that is to say with a straight face, Unobtanium is a rare mineral that is worth quite a bit to RDA. How much? How's $20 million per kilo sound? Yeah, I'd want some too.
So with a scientific team, lead by Grace Augustine (played by one of Cameron's original leading ladies Sigourney Weaver), and a group of others, they plan on sending in one of their own to research the rest of the planet. They have, of course, realized just how dangerous a human in a foreign place is, so they create the Avatar program. A program designed with the intention of placing a scientist's brain waves into the body of one of the local species called the Na'vi. By combined the DNA of a Na'vi with that of a human, they successfully clone one of these 10 foot tall beings and discover a way for the brain transfer to work. Did you ever watch Bruce Willis' Surrogates? Same theory, bigger creatures. The only catch is that each "Avatar" is genetically matched to each host, and when the lead scientist assigned to the Avatar program is killed they need to find a match.
So, they call upon Jake Sully (Sam Worthington), to fill the void of his twin brother. The DNA is incredibly comparable, the looks are perfect, and Jake even has military training under his belt. He's the perfect replacement! That is, of course, until they realize he has no training or even briefing on the program he is about to undertake. Of course, you have the skeptic scientist named Norm Spellman (played by Joel David Moore), who thinks it's a bad idea, and would rather do the program himself. He doesn't really like Jake, and doesn't think Jake can pull it off. Did I mention Jake's paraplegic, too? Yeah, serious dent in their research. No matter, the Avatar program involves brainwave transfer. Walking is overrated. So, after Grace puts her foot down (and much to Norm's disagreement), Jake is chosen to replace his brother in the program.
Jake is then lead to his "pod" where his brainwaves are digitally transferred to his assigned Avatar (kinda like a cordless phone). He wakes up, alive, full of energy...AND ABLE TO WALK! This is the greatest day of Jake's life! He decides to take his new body for a spin, while every doctor is trying to tell him to take it slow. However, within seconds, Jake has masters this whole making the Avatar do what he wants thing. So it's no surprise that he is then taken out with Grace and Norm (who also don a sparkling new Avatar body), to collect samples and discover all that Pandora has to offer.
Later, back at the base, Jake is approached by Security Head and Colonel Miles Quaritch (Stephen Lang) and RDA's corporate admin head Parker Selfridge (Giovanni Ribisi) about "infiltrating" the Na'vi and finding a way to get them to move out of "HomeTree", which is their home (go figure), as the largest deposit of Unobtanium is located just beneath it. In exchange, Quaritch guaranteed Jake surgery that will successfully give him his ability to walk back. Jake, of course, agrees.
We next see Jake (with Norm and Grace) frolicking in the woods and being awed by the plants around him when he gets the group attacked by a giant WTF (that's the name I've given it), split up from the group, and run off a cliff into a river below.
So Grace and Norm are certain Jake is toast and retreat back to the base. What they didn't realize is Jake is rescued from yet another beastly attack by Neytiri (the always sexy Zoe Saldana), who, even though she rescues him, wants him to go away. Jake, assuming she's playing hard-to-get just keep following her, begging to learn of the Na'vi way. Not entirely thrilled with the idea, she accepts anyway as she can see he is sincere enough.
Meanwhile, as he falls asleep that night, he wakes up back at the base. Chock full of new experiences to tell, he let's Grace know of what has happened. He then goes to Quaritch with his new found information. Grace, who had no idea of RDA's sinister agenda, decided to, with the help of a pilot named Trudy (Michelle Rodriguez), move a remote base with Avatar link up to another spot on Pandora. Jake, who in the last 3 months has been getting closer to the Na'vi tribe named the Omaticaya, and closer yet to Neytiri, has realized just how unique and special this world truly is. He has become one of them. He has even learned to fly his own Pterodactyl thingy (believe it or not, I do know the names of these creatures, but my names are so much more fun!). Jake then decides to completely reject his position with Colonel Quaritch. Quaritch, who (like most antagonists) doesn't take the news well, and locks up Jake, Grace, and Norm and plans on forgetting the diplomatic agenda. In a time like this - WAR is the only way to solve things. Just in case you weren't sure if RDA was American, that ought to clear things up, eh?
Luckily Trudy was never seen cooperating with them and was able to get into the prison ward and set them free. She even flies them back to their remote base so Jake can warn the Omaticaya of their impending danger. During the escape Grace is fatally shot in the stomach and is bleeding out fast. Jake zaps himself back into an Avatar and pleads with Neytiri. She is angry with Jake for not telling her the truth of why he came in the first place, and Tsu'tey (her brother, who never liked Jake in the first place) refuses to listen to a word he has to say. Jake begs them, if nothing else, to help Grace (who had even run a school on Pandorum, and knew many of the natives). They perform a ritual via the Tree of Souls to save her life. Alas, it was too late and we lose Sigourney Weaver *insert crying here*.
Angry with Quaritch (and for the freedom of his new found people) Jake gives the obligatory motivational speech that makes even the trees want to uproot and fight for him. He calls upon, not only the Omaticaya, but that of all other Na'vi tribes to stand up against RDA's oppression. "THIS IS OUR LAND!"
So, in a massive battle of epic proportions that sees Na'vi versus human, Pterodactyl thingys versus army aircraft, and we see many lives lost on both ends (yup, even more of our heroes)! However, one of the casualties is Jake. During one of the battles, Quaritch mans a giant walking robot thing (not to be confused with the one used in Aliens and the last Matrix movie) and begins to destroy the remote base where Jake is. Jake's connection is lost, and he is exposed to the Pandorum atmosphere (which is toxic to human without a breathing apparatus. Unable to reach an oxygen mask, as his wheelchair is also gone, Jake passes out. Neytiri, seeing the real Jake for the first time, rushes to his aid. To makes things worse, the Army succeeds in knocking over HomeTree in a trgic sight that can only be described as depressing as hell. *Insert other crying moment here*
Meanwhile, in the end, the good guys win (as they always do) and all remaining humans who were on the opposition are deported back to (where I can only assume is Earth). Jake, is taken to the Tree of Souls where through a similar ritual to that of Grace's (except more intense) is they are able to save Jake - but only by shedding him of his human body and having his mind permanently transferred to his Avatar counterpart. Jake and Neytiri, who are very much in love, live happily ever after. And we all have a warm feeling of fuzziness in our tummies! THE END!
You know, people say that without the visuals this movie is nothing. I DISAGREE! This could have been a freakin' sock puppet play and I would've loved it just the same! Yes, the 3D element in the theater was a nice touch. Even watching it on BluRay after was excellent. But all in all, new or used story (all you critics really need to let that go), this movie was beautiful. And I'm not sure I've ever used beautiful to describe a movie.
We all know the Academy has their picks. We all know the critics have their picks. Generally, these picks are similar. Me? I don't care what THEY have to say. I like to go outside the norm with my choices. These are all MY opinion. A lot of these will be questioned...by everyone BUT me.
So - without further ado...
CORY'S TOP 20 FILMS OF 2009.
1. The Blindside.
- Sandra Bullock's much deserved Award-winning performance in a film that was snubbed for every other deserving award. Easily the best drama of 2009.
2. James Cameron's AVATAR.
- A new twist on a classic tale. Spectacular action and phenomenal visuals fuel this story of acceptance of other people, standing up for what's right...and the quest for UNOBTAINIUM. Yup - that's what it's called. A detailed review a la Cory is in the works.
3. Taken.
- If ever there was a revenge flick people could relate to - it was this one. Liam Neeson dominates the joint as an ex-spy hell bent on getting his daughter back from kidnappers. Take James Bond and Jason Bourne, mix them into a super spy, and you get the sheer ass-kickery of Liam. Great action flick!
4. The Princess and the Frog.
- Walt Disney pictures have shown us over the years that they can make a classic fairy tale last the test of time. Then CGI took over. This film shows they still have the touch! The Princess and the Frog belongs on the same shelf as Cinderella, Snow White, and the rest of the ladies of Disney. Great job Disney!
5. Star Trek.
- Easily in my top 5 for one reason, and one reason only...I LIKED IT. What I mean by that is I HATE THE STAR TREK UNIVERSE! I hate the TV shows, the movies based off of them, WILLIAM SHATNER, the list goes on. But this film made me want to watch the show and buy all the toys! I mean I'm not going to...AT ALL...but it was that good of a movie!
6. Sherlock Holmes.
- Robert Downey Jr. takes another role and shows he can still do it awesomely. Great Sherlock Holmes tale, with a definite sequel planned. If nothing else, Rachel McAdams was smoking hot!
7. Public Enemies.
- Johnny Depp as John Dillenger. Enough said. Dillenger's story is almost accurate to the letter...but Agent Purvis' story (played by Christian Bale) was very loose. Still, Depp delivers!
8. Up
- While not my favourite Disney/Pixar project, you cannot deny its powerful, moving story of an old man who just wants to have an adventure before he dies. Not so much for little kids but older kids and adults will like it.
9. District 9
- In a very intense look at the human condition, Neill Blomkamp shows us just what people would do if aliens came to Earth. Forget Independence Day, think more Remember The Titans etc. where we just CAN'T accept them into our culture. Sad but true point of view. The styling of the movie was the only downfall in my opinion.
10. The Lovely Bones
- Peter Jackson revives yet another book and turns it into his own. Very sad and fantastical look at a girl (who gets murdered) trying to find a way to help her family cope - even though they can't see or hear her. Very good thriller while maintaining a very sad story.
11. The Hangover
- The highest grossing comedy of all time delivers in every way. It's like Bachelor Party meets Dude, Where's My Car...but frickin' hilarious! Zack Galifianakis steals the show while Bradley Cooper and Ed Hemls are not far behind. A must for everyone who had a bad night before.
12. State of Play
- Russell Crowe, Ben Affleck, Rachel McAdams, and Helen Mirren. A superb cast fuel a superb thriller about a congressman (Affleck) dealing with the suspicious death of his assistant and the larger story that may have lead to it.
13. Zombieland
- Zombie gore laced in outstanding comedy. If gores not your thing, just close your eyes, because every word that comes out of Jesse Eisenberg and Woody Harrelson is pure comic genius! If you ever wanted to know how to survive a zombie epidemic...and see Bill Murray back to true form - WATCH THIS!
14. Watchmen
- When a group of ex-superheroes discover one of their own murdered, one of them (played by a wickedly awesome Jackie Earl Haley) decides to extract some vigilante justice to find answers. However, the answers lead to a new question entirely. Very tense and deep movie with a very long runtime. Pace yourself, but sit back and watch it.
15. Inglourious Basterds
- Quentin Tarantino's dialogue reigns supreme in this WWII flick about a group of soldiers hell bent on taking down Hitler's regime by any means necessary. Tense dialogue and a wicked finale make up for the fact that the middle is a tad dry. Brad Pitt's humour and sadism absolutely makes this movie!
16. The Box
- Donnie Darko's Richard Kelly tells us a tale of human choice. What would YOU do for one million dollars? Who you take someone's life? Cameron Diaz (who unfortunately fails to deliver) and James Marsden play the couple forced with the unthinkable option.
17. The Ugly Truth
- We men are pigs, and we don't deny it. In this film Gerard Butler shows it. Hosting a TV show about what men think women are only good for (and not holding back), Butler's character does not believe in love...until he meets his new producer. Can her razor-sharp wit match his own? Let the battle of the sexes begin!
18. Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs
- A great cast (including the always funny Bill Hader, Bruce Campbell, and Anna Faris) topped off with a witty, charming, and flat out hilarious look at an inventor who never could do anything right - until he creates a machine that controls the weather. And by control the weather I mean he can make it rain food. Yes, I said food. All of this and more in this zany kids tale that everyone will watch over and over.
19. Whip It
- Drew Barrymore's directorial debut is pure gold. In a story of Bliss Cavender, a small-town girl who discovers the hardcore world of Roller Derby. She then makes a choice to leave behind a world of beauty pageants and talent shows to make new friends and don the helmet of her exciting new world. Very amazing performance by all the cast!
20. Paranormal Activity
- A psychologically intense thriller that let's your imagination do the work. When Katie and Micah discover strange noises in their house at night, they set up a camcorder to see what they can discover. What they find is a lot more disturbing than they first realized. Set up just like Blair Witch Project, this "true story" makes you feel like this just happened to your neighbour! Open your mind and prepare to be scared!
Heroes are overrated. Everybody cheers for the good guy, while the bad guy (who usually does all the work) gets overlooked. That being said let's start at the bottom:
20. Prince Humperdink (Chris Sarandon: The Princess Bride - 1987)
19. Judge Doom (Christopher Lloyd: Who Framed Roger Rabbit - 1988)
18. Michael Myers (Halloween series - 1978 to present)
17. Jason Voorhees (Friday the 13th series - 1980 to present)
16. Leatherface (Texas Chainsaw Massacre series - 1974 to 2006)
15. Ursula (Pat Carroll: The Little Mermaid - 1989)
14. Maleficent (Eleanor Audley: Sleeping Beauty - 1959)
13. Megatron (Frank Welker cartoon series 1984-87 / Hugo Weaving movie series 2007-present)
12. Jafar (Jonathan Freeman: Aladdin - 1992)
11. Andrew Scott (Dolph Lundgren: Universal Soldier - 1992)
10. Anton Chigurh (Javier Bardem: No Country For Old Men - 2007)
9. Freddy Krueger (Robert Englund: A Nightmare on Elm Street series - 1984 to present)
8. The Predator (Kevin Peter Hall: Predator - 1987)
7. Sheriff of Nottingham (Alan Rickman: Robin Hood, Prince of Thieves - 1991)
6. The Joker (Heath Ledger: The Dark Knight 2008)
5. Hans Gruber (Alan Rickman: Die Hard 1988)
4. Count Dracula (most notably Bela Lugosi: Dracula 1931)
3. Evil Queen (voiced by Lucille La Verne: Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs - 1937)
2. Lord Voldemort (Ralph Fiennes: Harry Potter Anthology - 2001 to 2011)
1. Darth Vader (voiced by James Earl Jones: Star Wars Original Trilogy - 1977 to 1983)
** Like all my reviews, this contains massive spoilers **
In my opinion, one of the most underrated musicals of all time. As far as horror-musicals, it has the quality of Sweeney Todd and the oddity of Rocky Horror Picture Show. The story is probably the most powerful part of this movie as it takes 3 plot points and makes every one work for the other.
The primary story is as follows:
It's the near distant future. There has been an epidemic of organ failures. Millions of lives are lost. Hope is lost. But wait! Out of the shadows comes Geneco, a company who offers salvation: organ replacements! And if you can't afford to pay the costs, Geneco offers Organ Financing. After a while they branch out - they start offering surgery for the sake of fashion. Plastic surgery is now all the rage! To top it all off, Geneco comes up with a new, powerful painkiller: Zydrate. The only problem is that Zydrate is a very addictive drug and as such, it was only a matter of time before it hit underground. However, the only way to obtain Zydrate (outside of Geneco) is through the dead. So, Graverobbers are the number one dealers of "street Zydrate"; extracting it from the corpses that are littered throughout the city. And remember the Geneco Organ Financing option? Like all Payment Plans there are consequences if you miss your payment. The penalty Geneco issues if you miss your payment? REPOSSESSION! That's right, Geneco has made organ repossessions legal - if you miss your payment on your organ, Geneco will take the organ back!
That's not all that's going on!
Nathan Wallace has a secret. 17 years ago, he and his wife Marni Wallace were expecting a baby. However, right before her due date Marni gets sick. Nathan, a skilled doctor, attempts to conjure up a cure for his ailing wife. Unfortunately, the medication ends up killing his wife! As she lay there dying, Nathan knew he could only save one! He performs a quick C-Section birth and is able to save their daughter - Shiloh. Now, in order to make sure he never loses Shiloh, Nathan shields her from the world by keeping her bed ridden (as she also has a blood disease that was supposedly inherited from her late mother)...under no circumstances can she leave her house! All she knows about the world is that there is a company called Geneco out there (who has now become the most powerful company in the world!) and that their spokesperson his a woman named Blind Mag (an opera singer) - who Shiloh looks up to from afar as sort of an idol. She knows that tonight is Blind Mag's final performance. Shiloh would love to be a famous singer herself (even being the next Blind Mag) but knows she will never leave the confines of her home. Thanks to Nathan, Shiloh knows nothing about how twisted the world had become.
One evening, Shiloh Wallace is visiting the tomb of her mother, Marni (which is attached to the house), and reading a book when she notices a strange looking bug on the door that leads to the outside. She knows that she can't go outside, but she is also a bug collector and this would be an excellent addition to her collection. Promising to herself that: "This will be be quick. It's in my sights. I'll capture it...and run back inside, and be back home in time" she goes out after it. While outside she runs into the Graverobber (who is also the story's narrator), and he tells her about how "it's his job to steal and rob - GRAVES!" He robs from the dead, the Zydrate that he turns around to sell on the black market (as eluded to at the beginning). Geneco, who of course does not condone the selling of their drug on the black market, have a 'Graverobbers Will Be Shot On Sight' law that is strictly enforced. During one of his rants, the Graverobber (who is still with Shiloh) is surrounded by the police. Rotti Largo, Geneco's founder and CEO, was monitoring the situation and tells the police to let them go. A Repo Man then cuts in front of the police, and approaches Shiloh. Fade to black.
We cut to Shiloh's bedroom where Shiloh is just regaining consciousness. She tells Nathan, who is in the room taking care of her, she was certain she was outside. Her father tries to explain that she fell unconscious from not taking her medication on time and had passed out. All was just a dream. Shiloh believes him (she has no reason not to) and Nathan leaves the room. After all she doesn't know what the real world even looks like - nor does she know the biggest secret of all: her father, Nathan Wallace, is the head Repo Man! She thinks he is only an ordinary doctor.
You find out through the use of comic strip-style story-telling (as they do with all their character introductions throughout the movie), the full story of Nathan Wallace. Meanwhile, we then see Shiloh's lament as she sings about how she is "...infected by her genetics."
Yet another side story is revealed...that of the Largos: Rotti Largo (who, as we found out, is Geneco's CEO) and his children - Luigi, Pavi, and Amber Sweet. Rotti was the world's savior! He created Geneco to help those (who normally could not get the help with Health Care) the transplants they need to live a long, happy life. However, just over 17 years ago, HE was dating Marni and he thought he had the perfect life. That is until Marni met Nathan. She stands Rotti up at the altar, breaking Rotti's heart! This changes Rotti - for the worse. He decides that if he can't have Marni, neither can Nathan. He gets one of his Genterns (a Geneco intern/nurse) to swap poison with Nathan's regular medications. The same medication that Nathan concocted to cure Marni's sickness. It was because of this that Nathan kills his wife (which Nathan still blamed himself for). Rotti, will never share this secret - because of his he has Nathan at his mercy.
But, as irony would have it "the man who cured the globe cannot stop his own extinction". Rotti Largo finds out he is dying, and doesn't have much time left. A company with the power of Geneco, needs an heir. Who can be the successor? There's Luigi Largo, Rotti's oldest son. There's just one problem, Luigi has a very nasty temper and tends to kill anyone who annoys him. Not very good management material. There's always Pavi Largo. His other son, who hides a horrifically scarred face under a mask of human skin. Specifically, he tends to wear the "faces" of others. Preferably a woman's face. Someone like that has a few too many issues to run a company of Geneco's magnitude. I guess that just leaves Amber Sweet. Rotti's lovely daughter (well not really, as she is played by Paris Hilton), who also wants to be the voice of Geneco one day, claiming herself to be the best singer in the planet. Her issue is that she is addicted to "street Zydrate" and she contradicts everything Geneco stands for. Rotti is confused, angry, and disgusted with his children. Who is a worthy heir to Geneco?
Will Shiloh ever find out what the real world has to offer?
Will she ever find out about her father's alter ego of the murderous Repo Man?
Will Rotti's children mature enough to take over Geneco? If not, WHO?
and
What's the story with that Graverobber?
Saw director Darren Lynn Bousman and Lionsgate Pictures takes you into the colorful world of REPO! The Genetic Opera. Like it's title, it's an opera (with little to no spoken words) telling this amazing tale for all to witness! Recommended for anyone looking for a beautiful story...under the guise of a horror movie! A MUST for Rocky Horror Picture Show fans.
You'll watch it again and again.
(Originally created in March 2008)
* WARNING - CONTAINS LANGUAGE SOME MAY FIND OFFENSIVE. DISCRETION ADVISED. *
Ahh Twilight...
The most anticipated movie since the Dark Knight. Why? Because the books were good? (supposedly...never read them)
I tried to watch Twilight with an open mind. Believe me I tried. I couldn't do it.
From the get go I had many a homosexual references/jokes linked to this movie and specifically Robert Pattinson directly. Not that he's gay (not that he's not), just his overall character layout seemed...well...gay.
In the end, I couldn't change my opinion.
THE STORY
First of all you've got the Cullen's; a group of incest loving "vampires" who wear more make-up than Dennis Rodman and can't bring themselves to eat people so they eat animals. Yes, I know, there was a back story on that back I am not even going there. So anyways, these bunch of Anne Rice Louie's who feed off rats (not really but if you haven't seen Interview With The Vampire, ignore and keep reading), these supposed vampires don't seem to bare any fangs yet can bite into your jugular like butter (not that they show anything, cuz that would actually make the movie cool). And the kicker of gaydom (yup, I said gaydom - not a word but since when has that stopped me?) is that these creatures of the night cannot go into the sunlight. Not for any cool reasons like burning up like a bonfire or even turning to ash, no no, beause they f*cking thparkle (that's sparkle with a lisp to get my incredibly stereotypical gay point across). They look like someone who took a dip in glue and got caught in a glitter factory explosion. That type of sparkle.
And wouldn't you know, young Ms. Bella (a fairly attractive Kristen Stewart) Swan, who just moved back to her childhood town of Forks, Washingtonwith her father is immediately smitten with the only single Cullen. Why the only single? Did I mention the incest comment earlier? The other 2 "brothers" and 2 "sisters" are DATING EACH OTHER. Yes, I realize they are all "adopted" and they are really are more like a clan (or a coven if you will), but for all introductory intents and purposes they eluded to as brothers and sisters.
So poor Mr. Edward (holy sh*t I need some make-up remover Robert Pattinson) Cullen, who never gave any other girl in school the time of day, falls in love back. But, to protect her from his evil make-up wearing, animal eating, supposed vampire ways he plays coy. Which if we've learned aything from EVERY OTHER romance out there, that means the girl just wants him more.
However, one fateful cloudy day (because apparently in the state of Washington, it is cloudy EVERY DAY during the spring - and as such Mr. Sparkle and his buddies are able to got out) he saves Bella's life from being a pancake between a skidding SUV and her own truck by sticking out his hand and stopping the SUV in it's tracks (and leaving a helluva handprint deep in the SUV's passenger door that only Bella seems to notice - which was, might I add, actually one of two of the cooler scenes in the movie).
So, after that, she follows him like a lost little puppy dog looking for a leg to hump and hounds him repeatedly with "what are you" questions until he tells her (actually she tells him in the worst game of 20 questions EVER!). But she remains unafraid (as he thought she'd be) and they become a couple. Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwww......
They even meet her dad. He loves Edward so much he gives her a can of pepper spray. Talk about getting Daddy's acceptance.
Meanwhile, in the back story, enter a group of 3 rogue vampires. The "leader" named Laurent (who looks like Hollywood's take on what EVERY Jamaican looks like - long ass dreads and all - yet hails from Kenya) , and of course another "couple". There's James, who looks like a modern day Lestat (except a fashion model reject from Denim R Us), and the only cool vampire in the ENTIRE movie. And there's Victoria, his beau, who herself is rather badass (again barring her Hollywood reject fashion sense). The guys are actually killers...of humans. FINALLY the movie is gonna get good!!! Wait...nope. It didn't.
During another cloudy day (see above) the Cullen family and Bella (whom they have accepted just a little TOO easily) are out for a game of family baseball. A baseball game which consisted of vampire strength and speed...as that was the only way they kept the scene from being boring as sin. Regardless, through the trees enter the 3 real vampires just wanting to say whassup. The Cullen's knowing that the dumb bitch Eddie brought is going to get them all killed, tried to hide 100 lb Bella behind the 120 lb Edward. Needless to say it didn't work. James, badass vampire extraordinaire, smells her cheap perfume (or human blood...one or the other) and says "You brought a snack". With isn't very presumptuous, as they are vampires too, so why else would they have a mortal with them.
So, instead of hospitality, the Cullens (after dangling a fresh piece of meat in front of a killer who they know feeds on human blood) get all hissy and take her away from their new found co-species like the
c*ckteases they probably are. And they wonder why James gets pissed.
So they get Edward and his super duper speed to take Bella away, tell her father off, and flee with them to who the hell knows where. Which is of course fine, after they've known each other for like a week.
In the end, they end up in a warehouse, James finds them, fight ensues between James and Edward (though I'm sure it was just Edward's excuse to grope James). This represents the ONLY other cool scene in the movie. During the epic 2 and a half minute battle (because making the coolest scene in the movie last a long time would be asking for too much), Edward's loving (too much loving) family comes and (only in the backgroud) apparently kills James.
They can now move back to Forks so Bella can apologize to her dad (whom she acted like such a bitch to that even I wouldn't take her back) and move back home. He of course takes her back without one ill word spoke. He of course reminds her of the pepper spray he gave her. So apparently he still is a fan.
And Bella and Edward live happily ever after....well at least until the next (of 4!!!!!) movies come out.
God help us all.
Later.
* This review WILL contain spoilers. *
The night was upon me. Never have I felt anticipation and disgust at the exact same time. Anticipation for the inevitable evening that lied ahead. An evening where I, Cory, was to sit and watch “The Twilight Saga: New Moon” for the very first time. Disgust, simply due to the fact it carried the Twilight franchise name to it. This franchise has, thus far, wretched my stomach in every way imaginable. It has turned my beloved vampire genre to a joke – pure and simple. Bastardizing a beautiful, poetic, and flat out horrific creature into a girly, pinky-lifting, un-heterosexual, sorry excuse for a monster.
I had to watch it, after all. While I LOATHED the first movie, I at least loathed it with just cause and specific reasons (see original Twilight Review). This was a whole new movie – if I hate it I at least need to say why I hated it. If I liked it, I would have NO PROBLEM admitting it. So, without further ado, my “Twilight Saga: New Moon” review begins…now!
The first emotion that came to me after I pushed stop post-closing credits was surprise. The character introduction in the movie was flawless. A few new breeds of creatures were brought into the saga. First, there is the wolf pack. A badass group of lycanthropes that, aided with near-perfect CGI, was the saga’s first real monsters since James, Laurent and Victoria from Twilight. On that note, Victoria is back. And that fiery redhead is out to avenge the death of her lover by a much more inferior group of (sort of) blood-sucking creatures of the night…and of course, Bella. (Actually the term creatures of the night don’t even apply with this franchise either…damn you Stephenie Meyer!!!) Finally, and most impressively, you have the Volturi. This is like the vampire elder equivalent. If you are immortal and you want to die, you go see the Volturi.
So we begin with Bella dreaming. She’s in the woods, and it’s a sunny day. Enter, not just Edward, but a thooper thparkly (ref: 1st review) Edward. (How to remain calm and objective at this point is beyond me, but I keep trying…) However, she dreams that while Edward will stay young forever she will become an old hag. She wakes up. This of course leads to the fact that it’s her birthday and she is turning 1 year older (a whopping 18). Her dad comes into the room, still apparently unsure on how to be a dad. Dude, it’s been like a year...let it go. For her birthday he gets her a camera while her mom had mailed her a scrapbook so she could document her senior year.
As she drives to school that morning they explain on the radio that there are more mysterious disappearances of hikers. (Because, you know, that’s not foreshadowing or anything.) So once she arrives at school she sees her friends and starts talking about senior year, pictures for her book, etc. when Edward pulls up. Throwing her friends aside like yesterday’s garbage she goes up to Edward and in comes a slew of nauseating dialogue as only Stephenie Meyer can come up with. However, enter Jacob (causing Edward to back off to the real alpha male) spouting off things like we need to hang out more. I guess his 16-year-old hormones are finally kicking in. In the background Edward is noticeable jealous – even more so when he sees that Jacob made her a gift (a dream catcher). In the hallways he asked (whines?) her why Jacob Black is allowed to buy her a gift and he can’t. All she basically responds with is “just cause”. He then proceeds to vomit out one of the many lines that made me yell at the TV:
“Bella, you give me everything just by breathing.”
OH MY GOD! WHO SAYS THAT?! Enter Alice Cullen inviting Bella to a birthday party at Cullen Manor. In the background Jasper looks on uncomfortable as ever. But hey, at least the pain stopped (character reference from the first movie – if unsure ignore), hell he even cracked a smile!
So the happy couple is now in class watching Romeo & Juliet and Edward starts whining about how humans have it easy when it comes to suicide. He wasn’t able to do it, because apparently after Bella was bit in the first movie and he didn’t think he could save her he wanted to do it. (Yup, this movie tells you that if you lose your love at the age of 17 it’s OK to kill yourself. Wonderful message # 1! ) He then proceeds to explain about the Volturi. They are the only creatures that can kill you if you want to die. (Which I guess makes sense. After all, cutting your own head off and burning your own body would tend to be a little tricky). This leads into yet another sickening line:
“Bella, the only thing that can hurt me is you.”
Followed soon after by:
“…You’re the only reason to stay…alive…if that’s what I am.”
Dear Lord, does he ever stop? And for that matter, why does he have to say her name to start every sentence? Does he have to remind her of her own name? Weird…
Either way, we cut to the birthday party at the Cullen’s mansion. The family all wishes her many happy returns on the day and take turns giving her presents. When it came to the final gift (from Alice) Bella get a deep paper cut while unwrapping. (Hmmmm, a bloody finger in a room full of vampires, what’s the worst that could happen?) Jasper LOSES IT! Turns out he too is still a real vampire at heart, not the weak, shell of a vampire Edward has become. He lunges (in cinematic slow motion) towards Bella with hunger in his eyes! Edward, being the sweetheart he is, instead of telling her to move, SHOVES her into a glass table then attempts to stop Jasper. (Talk about love…) So now, a simple paper cut has turned into a sliced open arm. Slick. In the end, however, Jasper is subdued and removed from the room and Carlisle fixes Bella up. Afterwards, Edward drives Bella home in her truck (which kind of becomes a reoccurring theme in this movie – all her friends driving her around in her own truck). They get to her house, awkwardly kiss goodnight (like a brother and sister forced to by gunpoint) and he leaves.
The next day at school Edward is not there (as Edward seems to do every time there is an uncomfortable moment with Bella…including in the first movie). Where is he you may ask? Why, he has broken into Bella’s bedroom and is creeping through her stuff…that’s normal, right? So when Bella comes home from school Edward is waiting for her outside and asked her to take a walk with him in the woods. Like the little lost puppy dog she is, she obediently follows. Edward Cullen proceeds to shock and break Bella Swan (and the entire 13 year old girl audiences’) heart by dumping her. Promising her “This is the last time you will ever see me again.” But not to worry, as if to antagonize things further he tells her: “…Don’t do anything reckless…” Apparently he doesn’t know Bella as much as we thought. Yet again, Stephenie Meyer’s over use of foreshadowing come to the surface.
Bella wanders all lost and pathetic in the woods until she passes out. In the trees you catch a glimpse of some big, scary eyes (The better to see you with, my dear…sorry – couldn’t resist) staring at her. The next shot is of the police at Bella’s house talking to the dad. He called them because of course was worried about his missing daughter (who, if he would’ve looked like a few yard into the woods BESIDE HIS OWN HOUSE, would’ve found her himself). Instead you see one of the ripped native boys carrying her out of the woods to her dad. All is well.
Now you’ve got a sad and lonely Bella staring out of her bedroom window…FOR LIKE 3 MONTHS STRAIGHT!!! (Her bladder control is much better than I would’ve thought…) It’s followed by incredible lame nightmare scenes with her crying and screaming at the top of her lungs. Even her dad looks like he wants to punch her in the face. If that’s not enough, she kept repeatedly sending Alice e-mails about how things are (or aren’t, I guess). She is, of course, oblivious to the fact the EVERY E-MAIL SENT has come back “Undeliverable”…OK, she probably noticed, but proceeds to do it anyways in some vein hope that she gets them.
Finally, after her dad all but tells her to get a life she agrees to go to a movie with a friend from school. After the movie she is walking with her friend, completely ignoring the inane babble that is coming out of her friend’s mouth and notices the gang of guys that tried to attack her in the first movie. In fact, in the first movie, that’s the first time Edward ever really talked to her…wait a minute…let’s go see those guys! Maybe this will bring Edward back! Of course, the sane person’s reaction is I wonder what will happen first, torture or assault? Not Bella, she starts walking up to them. But as she does, a vision of Edward warning her to turn back appears. She is stunned but ignores it and keeps walking. The closer she gets, the more he appears. Wait, does this mean the more I put myself in harm’s way, the more I will see an Edward Apparition?? Score! To hell with the fact, I’ll most likely die and never see him anyways, let’s do something reckless. (I told you that warning of his was a stupid idea). So after going for a motorcycle ride with the gang guy she sees a vision of Edward in the middle of the road and asks him to stop.
I guess, in the movies, a guy that wanted to attack once upon a time will just let you go and walk away if you ask him to nicely. (Another great message for kids brought to you by New Moon). She goes back to her friend who pretty much thinks she is nuts now and they walk away.
Later, realizing how lonely she really is, she goes to see Jacob Black for companionship using a cover of fixing some old dirt bikes. It seems her sexless life with Edward finally got to her and she realizes that she needs to get laid. So after multiple hangout sessions of talking and bike fixing (and Bella finding out what Recreational Cliff Diving is), she decides to go to a movie with a boy from school who has had a hard on for her from the beginning AND Jacob (throwing in some lame excuse why the other friends couldn’t make it, meanwhile having a boy at each side infatuating over her). After the movie is over and her school buddy is in the bathroom vomiting (because apparently gore in a movie isn’t his bag), Jacob professes his love to Bella. Bella, once sure, is now confused and gives him the: I just want to be friends line that women love to use. What a bitch.
So needless to say, Jacob stops talking to her. Confused at his reaction (as most girls are when they use that line) she goes to his house to visit him, and there’s Jacob sporting a new haircut, a tattoo, and a “Get the hell away from me” attitude.
All distraught and wallowing in her own self-pity; she heads off to (surprise, surprise) the woods. The same woods where Laurent (everyone’s favourite dread locked vampire from Twilight) is waiting to talk to her…and eat her! Luckily, she’s the main character, and a pack of werewolves were there to save her. Turns out, like every tale, werewolves and vampires don’t like each other (this way vaguely talked about in the first movie). So, no matter how fast Laurent tried to run, he still became wolf kibble. Bella runs home to tell her dad (and Harry, who was also there) about the giant wolves. So, like any law-upholding citizen would do in the state of Washington, he gathers a hunting party!
Meanwhile, that night, Jacob decides to give Bella another chance. He explains that he can’t tell her what has happened to him but please still love me anyway. So, the next day, she goes to Jacob’s house to talk more, when she is greeted there by the very same boys who were the new bad influence on Jacob (causing him to *gasp* cut his hair, and *shutter* get a tattoo). Sam, the apparent leader of this group of ripped Indian boys, and the one who found Bella in the woods earlier on, tells her (and shows her) that they are werewolves! Jacob comes out, thinking he is threatening her and turns himself into a wolf and a brawl ensues. While they fight, the other boys tell Bella to come with them. (Seeing as how Bella always comes when beckoned, she follows) They go to Sam’s house where she finds out the Wolf Pack isn’t really that bad…unless you piss them off (as Sam’s fiancé found out), then you just have to incur some domestic violence (to the tune of massive claw scars across her face). But luckily in this movie, that’s OK, as long as he loves her. (Add this to all the other wonderful messages portrayed in this movie!)
Back at the hunting party, Harry (who really knew about the wolves all along) sees some wolf tracks and covers them up so nobody else can see them. Just then Victoria jumps out of the woods, scaring the crap out of Harry, causing him to hit the ground and have a heart attack…that he later dies from. The wolves then come and scare her away in return.
So Bella, back on her adrenalin kick, decides to try some of that badass cliff diving she’s heard so much about. I guess she never clued in that waves are powerful and she almost drowns. Luckily Jacob was there (somehow) to save her…again. I’ve never seen a girl so USELESS without a man present (take that women’s lib!). Jacob then brings her home. Where Alice is waiting – and is very surprised to see Bella alive…and with Jacob. Alice told Bella that she had a vision of her committing suicide by jumping off a cliff. She told Alice that she was Cliff Diving for recreation. Alice then proceeds to insult and hurl dog jokes at Jacob’s expense (remember, they hate each other), but Bella interrupts stating that he saved her and that he is her best friend. Alice concludes by saying that Edward overheard of Alice’s vision (though she tried to keep it from him) and, thinking Bella is dead, has decided to go to Italy to provoke the Volturi in hopes of them killing him (because without Bella, life sucks).
Bella and Alice race to Italy, Alice steals a lemon-yellow Porsche (inconspicuous, I know) and they race off to the ancient city where the Volturi reside. When they arrive at the temple they find that the Volturi (led by none other than Michael Sheen of the Underworld franchise) have declined Edward’s suicide request. Edward (who was gone so long from the movie I was actually happy) decides if they won’t do it willingly, they will do it forcefully. One of the main rules of the Volturi is that if you reveal yourself a vampire in this city (by stepping out into the sun and blinding the tourists with your annoying glitter) they have no choice but to kill you. Bella then sees Edward in a shadowed doorway, removing his shirt and preparing to step outside. Desperate to stop Edward, Bella runs through gaggles of tourists to get to him before he goes through with it. And (as cinematic irony would have it) is able to tackle him (in true NFL fashion) right before he is revealed. Insert boring, sappy dialogue now.
Soon after, a member of the Volturi approaches Bella, Edward, and Alice (who is with them now) and commands their presence in the main chamber. In front of the elders, Edward then explains he has no reason to die now. The Volturi, however, are fascinated with Bella. They find out that they are unable to read her thoughts either (like Edward’s dilemma in the first movie) and wonder if they can do other things to her. So the one named Jane (played by the ever-annoying but yet kind of cool in this show Dakota Fanning) shows that she has the power to make someone feel like they are in excruciating pain. Awesomely she tries it out on Edward first. I think I enjoy seeing Robert Pattinson in pain or something. She then turns her attention (and her ruby red eyes) to Bella to see if it works on her…it doesn’t! This of course fascinates them more. They want to keep Bella. But Edward, who spent far too much time apart from her, refuses and attempts to take them on. Between Alice and Edward, they hold their own…at least for the first 3 seconds. However, the ass kicking laid upon Edward, coupled with the fact that Aro (Sheen) is about to do his killing of a vampire thing to Edward, causes Bella to say “Kill me instead!” So, without skipping a beat, Aro approaches Bella, stating how surprised he was that she was willing to give up her life for a soulless creature like a vampire. “This is a sadness, if only it had been your intention to give her immortality.” On that note he is about to make short work on Bella when Alice pipes up that in a vision they WILL turn her. They decide to let them go, as long as they follow through with their promise to change her (sooner rather than later…or else).
On their way out of the halls of the temple, quite possibly the coolest part of the movie occurs. The vampire leading Bella and company out passes a vampire who is acting as a tour guide to a bunch of tourists. After a comment by the guide about how juicy they look they proceed to go off camera, where a series of screams fill the hall. FINALLY – 2 hours later and it just now becomes a cool vampire movie! Of course it’s the end.
In the movie’s conclusion, you see Bella waking up to another nightmare (turns out that dream catcher Jacob got her kind of sucks), but Edward is there to comfort her. The two of them then got to the woods (weird, I know) when Jacob appears. Bella tells Jacob that although she loves him he’s not the monster for her. He leaves, and Edward then does, what we all know was going to happen, he proposes to Bella Swan. END!
In the end, this entire movie did exceed my expectations. The new characters (as I mentioned at the beginning) and the turn in the story really made for a well-made movie. Remember the whole Victoria being back thing. Aside from a couple of glances and a few conversations about her, that was all she offered the movie. Too bad, but I realize it’s just fuel for the next one, but still… UNFORTUNATELY, the acting and the dialogue still brought the movie down so much that in the end, I was still sickened by it. If Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson accidentally walked in front of moving traffic, it would not be a bad thing. THEY WERE HORRIBLE! As for the dialogue, I get it’s a romance Stephenie Meyer, but try to stick to things kids would ACTUALLY SAY. Oh well, bring on Eclipse, I guess.
Wow, this was a long one. How many people will actually admit that they read this whole thing? Post below if you did along with any comments.
Until next time…
